So far within the first almost three months of having our baby, as much as I thought the western world is tolerant and does not tell you how to bring up your children, I’ve been in equal amounts harassed by the dogmatic and preachy attachment parenting followers, as well as the “cry it out” method and “put down the baby, you’ll spoil them” believers. I am not a fan of either one approach and I don’t understand why can’t there just be a middle ground, with logic, understanding, love and care for your child and their needs (including the need to feel loved, safe and comforted) and within reason.
My aim throughout the whole of my life has always been to seek an understanding of why things are the way they are, and what can be done to fix them if something is wrong. When my baby cries, I want to figure out why and help him, because he’s too small to tell me why and crying is the only way he can communicate with me about his needs.
If I know my baby is upset about something, uncomfortable or just tired because he slept badly all day, how is a cuddle and some comforting going to spoil him? When somebody tells me how babies can be manipulative, I want to laugh in their face. Really? They don’t even know their name yet, or can’t figure out that how to operate their own hands, but they are evil enough already to know how to manipulate those stupid adults that brought them into this world? Makes me feel sad thinking about these people bringing up their own babies…
Quite often it seems to me, that the trend in the western society is that people love their dogs more than they do children. How many times I’ve walked past cafes and restaurants, where not only dogs are given their own bowl of water, but they are sat on the chair at the table next to their owners, muzzle lying on the table. Reaction of everybody in the restaurant when a dog owner comes in with a pathetic rat-looking lap dog under their arm – “Awww! Look at this beautie! Isn’t she gorgeous!”. Same audience reacting to a family with a baby in tow – silent condemnation at best. How dare you come out of your cave with your offsprings and threaten the romantic ambience of our dinner!
People need to start understanding, that dogs are dogs, any animal can be lovely and cute, but they’re animals, we should not be putting them above humans. Whilst a baby is a tiny, helpless, fragile human being, who does not really understand this world of chaos around him, or why his tummy is hurting and how to handle it, and sometimes it can all just be too much for them.
In the end of the day, if you, being a perfectly capable and self-sufficient adult, like some comforting and a cuddle after a bad day, why would you deny it to those who only have you to protect and care for them?